Monday, July 27, 2009

an email from a one-off

hey [name redacted], how are things?

so i'm wondering if you might be interested in a threesome? i don't know how we would do this but perhaps one time with another guy and another time with a girl. i'm pretty open. i think we could have a lot of fun. we could do it at my place.

well, i hope you are doing well. i did want to keep in touch with you, if you'd like to. i thought you were cool.

[his name]

I'm insulted by this because as much of an awesome slut as I may be, I do not appreciate being viewed as a "just add puzzle piece to a threesome" component. Also, this guy was a creep in that he, within moments of meeting me, stared down the neckline of my dress, commented on how nice my breasts are and waited until I got drunk before he tried to make his move. Also, crackly lips reminiscent of fried pork rinds. Not sexy, not awesome, not getting laid.