Sunday, March 28, 2010

on stress and sex

There is something to be said about the healing power of the orgasm; whenever I am extremely agitated and anxious, I find my pussy dribbling and clit throbbing. I've come to rationalize this as my body is trying to distract me from the emotional turmoil by offering a physical release, a free gift wrapped with a flushed bow.

Not so convinced? Have you ever fucked someone who, after orgasm, started to laugh, or worse, cry? Chances are you are nodding your head in agreement. I am one of the former, and have baffled many lovers by bursting into peals of raucous laughter during sex to which I must then reassure them, "No, no, it's not you; it's just that the orgasm is such a huge release for me that it happens reflexively!" I had a boyfriend who would get offended if I wasn't rolling around in hysterics afterward.

I've got a lot of financial woes right now and my instincts are to run and hide or to bury my head in the sand, ostrich-style, but I am an adult and I need to learn how to function like one. I won't lie; I desperately would love a Daddy who could fuck me and take care of me, but the truth is, I am also a very proud and strong woman who would bristle at being "kept." This is, again, the dichotomy of me: mouthy and aggressive versus meek and compliant. Having written that out, I realize that it's quite apparent that they are two sides of the same coin. Perhaps I am not as compartmentalized as I thought. And that is something that is quite heartening; I was afraid that I might possibly be losing myself through the act of dissection.