Monday, March 1, 2010

embracing the lifestyle

An old friend of mine from the punk rock days (yes, I used to be one of those) is a well-known professional dominatrix and always has a roster of slaves and stories to share. As I'd recently expressed interest in having my apartment cleaned - and not by myself - she offered up the services of one of her subordinates.

"He loves to be humiliated," she informed me. "And he has a tiny needle dick. You can point at it and laugh."
"How about if I ask him to wear a tutu and suck on my used tampon?" I replied, mostly joking.
"Sure, though I don't think he's into blood. You could just have him take a photo of himself with his penis sandwiched between two used maxi pads. I've done that before."

I'm not sure why I'm posting this but a group of us, including said slave, are going out for drinks and a comedy show tomorrow. "He pays for admission and cocktails. And he'll drive us all home," my friend added, sweetening the pot.

I suppose I should take her up on this offer. Who am I to turn down an evening of free entertainment? And a house maid in a tutu?