Saturday, September 19, 2009

the holy grail that is anal sex

For many folks, anal sex is an immediate NO. "You're going to put that where? I don't think so!"

I've never been an avid fan of anal sex, though I will admit, I have had some amazing experiences with lovers I trust. A lot of work and consideration is required before you can go shoving a cock or butt plug in the tightest and most sacred of orifices. It's a delicate dance of fingers, tongues and lubrication that doesn't always end in a curtsy. When performed correctly though, the orgasm result is glorious - completely different from the clitoral or vaginal varietals.

Some years ago I remember sneaking a young man back into my bedroom at my parents' house after a punk rock show, and we fucked. I won't write about the extraneous crap because it was just sex, but I let him fuck me in the ass. He knew exactly how to proceed - gentle teasing of my anus, perceptively probing me with his fingers until my body relaxed just enough to allow him entrance. It hurt, but in a good way. (Yes, I know, that is cliche.) Expertly, as he penetrated me from behind, his hand slithered across my hips and toward my empty cunt, which he filled with his fingers. Ah, the reach-around! Any man worth his semen knows about the beauty of this maneuver. Within thrusts, I was groaning, bucking my hips back against his pelvis, drawing his cock deeper into my ass. One of his hands playing with my pussy, the other against my mouth so that I could suckle his fingers - this is human origami, but with much sexier results.

It was my first anal orgasm, though not my last. Since then I've allowed a select group of lovers fuck me in the ass with nary a problem...

Unfortunately, a few years ago, I had a boyfriend who was well-endowed and extremely dominant. One might suggest he was actually just selfish, but I won't get into that right now. That night, he expressed the desire to fuck me in my ass, and I acquiesced with the stipulation that I have a safe word should the proceedings become unbearably painful. Initially, he was gentle, slowly rubbing the head of his cock up against my asshole, using spit and lube to guide his entrance. I tensed up a few times, and he reassured me.
"Relax," he said. "I'm not going to hurt you."
I felt his cock start to penetrate me, and it was as if I were being torn apart by wolves. A red veil of pain and rage descended over my vision and I thrashed.
"BANANA!" I shouted. "BANANA!" (Yes, I chose the most unsexy word possible - who fucks and wants a fruit salad?)
But he didn't stop. Hot spikes shot up my spine and I wrenched free from him.

I don't remember how the rest of that night ended, but I'm fairly certain I went home without an orgasm. But for the first time, I think he did too. Since then, I've been extremely wary of anal sex and haven't had a cock up my ass. Buttplugs? Fine. Fingers? Maybe. Salad tossing? OK. But full on anal sex? No thanks.

Lesson to you lads out there: respect your lady's limits.

I'd like to think that one day I will feel safe and relaxed enough with someone to let him fuck me in my ass again. But until I am certain, sorry, the traffic signs will direct you to my pussy or mouth. If someone is going to balk over that, well then, go fuck another slut. I'm not your Real Doll.