Someone asked me today, "What is it exactly that you're looking for?" and my response was not succinct or eloquent.
"I guess an ongoing exploration of the D/s dynamic," i replied.
"Like what?" he pressed.
"Bondage, having my boundaries pushed, I don't know...stuff."
Some people may suggest that this is something I could explore with just anyone as long as there is trust and respect. But no, I wouldn't want to engage in this exploration of sexuality with someone who is doing it to appease my desires. I want my partner to be experienced and actually enjoy what he is doing, not be a friend or lover who shrugs and says, "Yeah, OK, sure I'll tie you up" and looks alarmed by the fifty feet of nylon rope that you've removed from a closet or drawer. It's like doing the dishes after your partner has made dinner - you just feel obligated into doing it. That's not fun at all. Worse yet are the guys who are laboring under the misapprehension that "submissive" means I want to be degraded, humiliated or treated like a fuck hole. It's not about that, at least with me. There is a sensuality to being teased and dominated. There are psychologically appealing aspects to D/s and that is what I find most intriguing. I don't want to be used as a rutting source and toilet. Hey, if you're into that, cool, but it's just not my thing.
Tomorrow I am meeting with an older European man who is experienced in the Dominant/submissive realm. I think he's German. Oh, those kinky Teutons! Fret not, for we shall be meeting in a public space where we can inspect one another and determine if we are compatible before proceeding.
