and we're back!

I missed you. Did you miss me?

During our hiatus imposed by the incorrect Google spam bots, I linked all of my old posts and actually updated here. Sugar Skeet started her own blog here. I'm not sure how/where we'll continue posting new material, but we'll get back to you.

Did you know that this blog won an award from the Village Voice for best sex blog? Check it out.

Anyway, hey! It feels good posting here - like putting on old jeans that fit perfectly. Should I have made a sexual reference? Whoops.

best dildo

Christopher bought me a dildo.



I'm always excited to see him, but I don't think I've ever rushed to his house faster than when he told me it had arrived. When I got there I got shy. Instead of begging for it I stalled: asking for a beer, playing some records I brought over. Finally he suggested we go to his bedroom and there it was, hanging out on his bed. I sat down and held it--examined it--and he pushed me down, kissing me and rubbing my tits. I grabbed his cock through his pants and he helped me undo them.

So there we were. Me on my back, him on his knees, his cock in my mouth. He took the dildo and pushed it into me. Holy shit. The dildo is like the perfect size--big enough to be slightly uncomfortable but not big enough to hurt or anything. I sucked his dick while he fucked me with the dildo. I had a huge orgasm and he pulled it out.

"Uh, dude, you squirted everywhere."

I was a squirter when I first became sexually active. In fact, I remember the first orgasm I ever had (in the back of my car, with dinosaur jr playing on the tape deck) left a terrible mess. I don't think I've squirted in over 10 years, though, so it was a big shock.

We rolled over to the other side of the bed and Chris fucked me, telling me how good it felt for me to be all stretched out.

We changed the sheets and fell asleep. He's keeping the dildo at his house and I can't wait to use it again.

it's been awhile

And I don't foresee me posting much but here's the article I mentioned. My editor sure has a sense of humor, running it during Rosh Hashanah.

That's Not Kosher

I finally fucked someone who reads this.

I met Daniel outside of his office Friday afternoon. We went to a bar and had a few drinks. No pressure. I couldn't tell if he was into me or not but when he asked what we should do next I got the hint.

We took the train to my place. It was a humid, hot day and by the time we got there we were both sweaty.

I led him to the bathroom and he started kissing me. I took off my shirt. He felt my tits and complimented them. I got completely undressed and in the shower. He joined me and we quickly cleaned off. I was impressed by his cock- I had seen pictures but it is pretty much perfect. Big.

We toweled off and he told me to get on my knees. "You're going to suck my dick," he said. I grabbed it and licked it, put it down my throat. It's like the perfect cock to deep throat--the length is perfect and I could get it all the way in with minimum gagging. I'm pretty sure he enjoyed that. He definitely enjoyed slapping my face and tits.

He commanded me to get on my hands and knees. He slid what I think was 3 fingers in and finger fucked me for a while. I was close to orgasm but it never happened. He asked me if I wanted his cock.

"Yes," I gasped. He slid it in, it felt incredible. He fucked me like that for a while (me on my hands and knees on the end of the bed, him standing) and then he got on the bed too allowing him to go deeper and harder.

Eventually he rolled me over and fucked me with my legs pulled up, choking me, making me cum hard. He came too and we laid in bed feeling the air conditioning blasting on us.

We snuggled and talked for a while and both got kinda sleepy. He told me to suck his cock again so I got on my knees and put his dick in my mouth, making it hard again. After a while he stood up on the bed and told me to lick his balls and he jerked off all over my face, got dressed, and left.

Later on I met him and his friend at the bar. We got pretty drunk and Daniel left after a while. Jim and I had another drink and made out at the bar (so classy) and he suggested we go back to his house. Jim is a nice and funny guy, really cute, but I didn't get a dominant vibe from him. I went home with him anyway because fucking two friends in the same day is pretty awesome.

We got to his house, made out in bed for a while, and then he told me that he doesn't have flings and thus couldn't fuck me. Defeated, I rolled over and fell asleep. After I left in the morning he texted me that I'm a good kisser. My reply?

"if you think I'm a good kisser you should have tried fucking me. I guarantee that's even better."

Dirty stuff

Andy and I were getting Mexican food when he announced that a few of his college friends from Memphis were coming to visit.  "You'll love Scotty," he said, smirking.  "He rides bikes, has shitty tattoos, and is a total asshole to women."  He pulled out his phone and showed me his picture.

"He's hot!" I decided.  "I love him."

The weekend came and Andy had a party.  I was introduced to Scotty, who was incredibly debonair.  I mingled, I drank, and when I saw Scotty go out to smoke a cigarette I followed him.

"I heard you have a little crush on me," he said, his blue eyes piercing through me.  I nodded.  "Well maybe I'll just make all your dreams come true tonight," he said, taking the last drag of his cigarette.  I mentally lost it.  I went inside and headed to the bathroom. 

My pants were down and he came in.  I shouted and he looked embarrassed.  "I didn't know you were in here," he said, pushing me up against the wall when I stood up to wipe.  He kissed me while fingering me.  I unbuckled his pants and slid down the wall, putting his cock in my mouth.

Shortly after we decided that the bathroom wasn't a good place for what was going to happen next, but fortunately I knew where the guest room was.  I took him by the hand and led him there.  I sat on the bed, he pulled off his shoes, pants, and hoodie.

He was smooth.  He stroked my cheek and told me I was pretty.  We made out for a long time before he even tried to take off my clothes.  But he did, and soon I was on my hands and knees and his cock was inside me.  He fingered my ass and I was the perfect amount of drunk where it felt amazing.  He pulled out and put his cock in my ass, no lube required. He switched back to my pussy.  After a few pumps he went limp.

"Get me hard again," he commanded.  I turned around and put his dick in my mouth.  I was immediately reminded that it had just been in my ass.  "So this is what ATM is like," I thought, laughing to myself.  Well there's a first time for everything.

It wouldn't get hard and I was tired anyway.  We got dressed and I wandered into Andy's bedroom and passed out.  Not sure what Scotty did.

The next day was embarrassing as Andy and Justin grilled me about what happened.  They both know I'm a slut, obviously, but the ATV (and ATM) apparently crossed the line, and I got a lecture about my health.  A week later I got a bad itch and went to the STD clinic, but it was just a bacterial infection, don't worry.

Joey and I closed down the bar. He asked me if I was going home. No. I was too drunk. He said I could stay at his place.

We got there and he went to the bathroom. Never one to be brazen, I took off all my clothes and got in his bed. He walked back in, took a long look at me, and finally asked, "How are your boobs?"

"They're cool," I replied, and watched him strip down to his boxers.

He grabbed his weed off his nightstand. "I'm going to smoke a bowl and you are going to suck my dick."

I got on my knees and reached into his boxers.

"Haha, really?" he asked. Yeah, totally.

I put his cock in my mouth. He took a hit. Exhaling, he told me how good it felt. He put down his pipe and pulled my hair. "You're such a dirty cocksucking whore," he whispered, as he pulled harder and put his hand on my throat. I did my thing while he choked me, pulled my hair, slapped my cheeks, and pinched my nipples.

He told me to get on my hands and knees--he was going to fuck my ass. He got up and got some oil out of his closet. He fingered my pussy, hard. He didn't stop until I came twice. Then he started in on my ass: One finger. Two fingers. Three fingers. He slid his cock in. I gasped. He was gentle with the fucking but slapped me hard, calling me a little whore the whole time.

We passed out and I woke up curled around him, vulnerable.

Marie's in town!

Marie came to visit from wherever it is she's living now. I greeted her at the airport after midnight, she was jetlagged and exhausted. I asked her what she wanted to do and she said anything, as long as it was with me.

I took her to Christopher's. The plan was to see how drunk we could all get and then initiate a deep-throating contest on Chris's cock, but instead Marie passed out and Chris and I got drunk anyway.

He and I went to his room where he kissed me and pushed me on the bed. "Take your clothes off," he commanded. I did. He watched and unbuckled his pants. I reached for his buckle but he smacked my hand away. "You're too eager. Turn around." I did as I was told and gasped the same gasp I do every time someone or something penetrates me.

(side note: I've been getting fucked for half my life, why is it that the initial penetration feels so amazing EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.)

He pulled my hair so hard I yelped. "Are you being loud because you have an audience, you fucking hussy?" he asked. I answered no. "We have to be quiet, Marie is sleeping!" He pulled harder, then slapped my ass, then pounded into me so hard I couldn't keep quiet. I buried my head in a pillow but he pulled it away. I came quickly (and loudly... embarrassing) and he instructed me to turn over. I did and received a slap in the face. "I'm sorry your friend fell asleep, I wanted to use her as hard as I use you," he said. Then he pushed his chest into my face, suffocating me, and fucked me slowly as I silently freaked out over my loss of breath. Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore he let me go and I quickly recovered. This was repeated several times until he pulled out, stood up, and busted his nut on my face and chest. We fell asleep.

Not enough hours later, I woke up to my phone alarm and a boner pressed against my butt. I shut off the alarm and rolled over, kissing him good morning and grabbing his morning wood. After a few strokes I moved down and put his cock in my mouth. He likes the way I stick my ass in the air while I blow him, so I positioned my ass in his hand's reach so he could slap me. He thrusted and fucked my throat hard till I pulled my mouth off and asked him to fuck me. "Only if you say please while my cock is down your throat," he said. I complied. I got pushed over and he pushed his cock in me, only having to pump a little bit till I was coming again.

This time he muffled my moans with a pillow as Marie was surely awake in the next room. He fucked me with my legs over his shoulders and depositied his load deep inside of me so I could have it drip out all day at work.

I got dressed and met Marie in the living room. I casually asked if she was ready to go and we left. "Your boyfriend seems like lots of fun," she said. I blushed.

probably soulmates. tragic.

I've had sexual tension with Seth for years. We met at a house show- he was fresh out of jail and I was so drunk I could barely stand (I totally puked in the bathtub upstairs then passed out on the sidewalk next to my friend's car... cool life Meredith). His smile gave me goosebumps.

We had awkward sex in the summer of 2007 after sitting on my porch listening to Mineral all night. Next time I saw him he was with a girl. Scorned, I started dating Ira. Whatever.

I saw him a few weeks ago- I was walking out of my neighborhood coffee shop and he whizzed by on his bike. I called out for him and he circled around and blew me a kiss. Later I got a text apologizing for not stopping.

We ended up getting really stoned and going to a hardcore show that night. He complained about his girlfriend. I listened like a good friend.

Last night a bunch of people got together for a surprise birthday party. I showed up with Marie and Brianna. We greeted everyone and my heart skipped a beat when I saw Seth. He pulled me aside. "I've had dreams about you every night since the show," he said. "Break up with your girlfriend," I said. "I already did," he replied.

We broke apart, rejoined the group, drank a few pitchers of beer. I got a text message: Meet me in the bathroom. I followed him to the ladies room.

I pushed him up against the door and locked it. The kissing was so anxious. He stuck his hand in my pants, I stuck mine in his. "I've got a tampon in," I warned. "I don't give a fuck," he replied. I dropped to my knees and stuck his cock so far down my throat that I gagged. He pulled me up and buckled up his pants. Fuck.

We all went back to Brianna's house, completely drunk. Seth went upstairs to pee and I followed him. We ended up fucking on Brianna's bed until we passed out. I woke up a few hours later and slipped out, thinking we went unnoticed, but that was not the case. I got teased so much today! Totally worth it.

houseguest sex

I've been having a decent amount of sex lately. Unfortunately, it's either been drunk blackout sex or in bed at night regular sex. I'm satisfied, but I don't have much to write about. Here's a good memory though:

I had been seeing Justin for about a month when he texted me one day after work. "At (hipster bar I won't name) with the guys. Come now." Anxious and nervous, I took a shower, tried to find something sexy to wear, and walked to the bar. I ran into Marie on the way. She asked me what I was doing, suggested meeting up later. Haha. I said I was just meeting Justin and I'd hit her up later. I didn't hit her up later.

I walked into the bar. Justin greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and went off to get my gin and tonic. Andy introduced himself and grabbed my tits. A little off-putting, but whatever. The other two dudes introduced themselves and we made small talk about work or whatever.

After a few drinks, Andy suggested that we go back to his house to drink from his Kegerator. We walked there, then Justin gave me a tour of the house. When we got to the guest bedroom he shut the door, grabbed my throat and pushed me against the wall, then stuck his hand down my pants and fingered me while we kissed. Then he ripped off my black lacy thong and shoved it in my mouth, pulled down my jeans, and pushed me on the bed. Andy knocked on the door and started to come in. Justin gave him a stern "NOT NOW," undid his pants, and slid his cock into me.

I came first. Then he announced that he was going to come. He pulled out of me and I got on my knees and swallowed his load. We pulled up our pants, I went to the bathroom, we left the party.

We walked to Justin's place, a condo with a pool in the back. We decided to skinny dip. We put our clothes back on, dripping wet, and went up to his 6th floor apartment. He made me another drink--a formality, I suppose--while I got in bed. Once in bed we fucked again. This time he choked me with his belt.

Man, Justin was a fun dude but absolutely insane. Why are the crazy ones always the best fucks?

Golden Showers

When I was 19 I was dating this ridiculous older vegan straight edge guy from St Louis. He had a small dick and huge balls and his personality was way too dominant for me. We broke my bed. Every time we showered together he tried to pee on me and after 3 or 4 times I broke things off with him because it was just too weird.

10 years and countless partners later I decided that perhaps I would enjoy getting peed on. I was seeing this guy Joey and expressed this desire with him. Then one day we were in bed, I was on my knees and he was standing, fucking my throat. I took his cock and deep throated until I started gagging. He slapped my face, pulled me up, and led me to the bathroom where he instructed me to hold on to the towel rack while he fucked me. Then he pushed me in the tub, where I got on my knees, and he pushed his cock down my throat till I puked. Usually when I puke I get away from the cock, puke elsewhere, and then shit is done, but since we were in the tub he kept his cock down my throat (he wanted to feel my throat close up when i gagged) so I ended up with vomit all over me. He pulled his cock out, used it to smear the puke on my face, slapped me and called me a dumb whore, then pissed all over me to clean me up. I had tears streaming down my face and my makeup was a mess and he told me how beautiful I am. Then we took a real shower.